Me: Thank you, Captain Obvious.
Sister: You're welcome, Captain Oblivious. Me: Can we both be Captains? Sister: Yes, we're captaining different ships; I'm captaining my ship and you're captaining your ship. We ship different things. Me: I knew you were going to go there. Sister: I thought about trying to stop myself, but then I disabused myself of that notion.
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"Hi! How are you?"
"Fine. How are you?" "I'm good." That word: fine. What a layered thing to say. What most people mean when they say "fine" in response to an inquiry into how they're doing is, "I can tell you don't actually care" or, "I don't want to explain how I'm really doing." We all know this. We all accept this as an answer. This one little word speaks volumes. Sometimes I think it would be grand if people stopped automatically inquiring into each others' well-being. What if we only asked when we cared? "How are you" (or, alternatively, "how's it going?") is constantly tacked on to any greeting. I find myself saying it, this flippant question, this conditioned word-vomit, this now-meaningless phrase, and I laugh at myself. I think, "what if that person actually told me how they are doing? Would I really want to hear it?" That's kind of a callous question to ask yourself, because you really hope that your answer would always be "yes" and you find yourself ashamed of how often the answer is really "no." "Fine" is the guarded response to that indifference. A fun way to catch people off-guard is to throw different words and phrases in there, but not go into any detail. "How are you?" "Deeply dissatisfied." "How are you?" "Super excited!" "How are you?" "Hungry." Some people are put off, others become intrigued and delve into why you are feeling that way, and my favorite people laugh, consider the answer, nod their heads, accept it, and move on. |
AuthorMaayan is a Manhattan-based opera singer. Archives
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